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Pain McShlonkey Classic 2012

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

[video disclaimer: language! Watch at your own risk]

WHO: Kevin O’Hara

WHAT: Pain McShlonkey Classic 2012

WHEN: March 23–24, 2012

WHERE: Squaw Valley

GEAR: Contour helmet cam, Smith helmet, ABS avalanche airbag pack, K2 snowlerblades

Three years ago, I was working as the manager for a photography company at Squaw Valley. Our office was in a corner of the Olympic House, within good proximity of the best food in the valley. I was leaving the office one evening, when my friend Alan, the proprietor of Northern Lights (the best soup and chili shack on both sides of the Mississippi), asked me, “Did you hear that Shane McConkey died today?” I had not. And honestly, at that time I was only mildly familiar with him. I knew he was a big hucker on skis, and I had read about him in the book “My Favorite Place,” but my familiarity with Shane was unexpectedly about to grow tenfold. I’m only sorry that it didn’t happen while he was still pulling ripcords and slashing huge lines.

News in the valley spreads quicker than in most podunk Midwestern towns. By the time I arrived for work the next day, the mood at the mountain was heavy, and the heft remained until well after Shane’s memorial service a week later. I found myself wondering why he was so important, and being that this was my second winter in Tahoe I knew I had some work to do getting up to speed with my facts. After reading some articles, hearing stories from locals, and watching some more ski flicks, it was pretty apparent who Shane was to the local ski community. He’d molded skiing into what we know it as today—comparable to how Elvis Presley rocked the music world into a new way of playing (and dancing). More importantly, Shane was funny. He hardly took himself seriously. Really, he was only serious about living fully.

Fast forward two years: I’m working here at TMS, I’m a WAY better skier, I feel settled in Tahoe, I know my bartenders as well as my high school buddies, I am fully familiar with GNAR, I have my favorite hot tub poach spots, along with all the other eccentricities of living in a mountain town. I’ve also learned a lot more about not taking myself too seriously. And what do you know, last year I qualified for the Chinese Downhill at the Pain McShlonkey Classic. An event coined from a little stunt Shane pulled with some buddies one night at Squaw. 30 pros and 30 amateurs were to go head to head (actually side by side) from the top of KT-22 to the bottom of Exhibition. The race, was a spectacular display of crashes, costumes, busted egos, cracked skis, and lots of laughs. One guy even ended up with a broken arm. By the end I was panting, bleeding, and grinning from ear to ear.

It was not only the Chinese Downhill that left an impression on me, but also the positive attitudes, the immense camaraderie and ability of everyone involved to let go of the seriousness of skiing. You could actually feel Shane’s influence on the entire event. I was so psyched to be a part of it that I wrote Sherry McConkey a short letter, and gave it to her after the awards, along with a big hug and a “thank you.”

This year I was invited to the spectacular “Moulin Rouge” themed Shane McConkey Legacy Gala, and I was also invited back as a VIP to compete in the Pain McShlonkey. I always assumed it was a once in a lifetime event, and I was stunned to get Sherry’s invitation. At the Gala, I re-introduced myself to her, and asked, “Do you remember me?” She smiled, “Of course I do.” Greeting me with another hug. I asked her why I was invited back. Sherry answered very simply that people who love Shane are what make the event, and that the whole weekend, for her, is about good friends. I am humbled.

What I have left with, after both years at the PMS Classic, is an endless positive feeling and “get after it” attitude that this group of people embraces. Shane had no hesitations with the amazing things he did, and he built an amazing world for himself. Every time, I feel a bit out of it, or down, I put on my Big Truck McConkey hat and I repeat to myself Shane’s line from the movie Claim: “Now ski down there and jump off something for crying out loud!”

So you wanna know the nitty gritty? How the race went down? I’ll leave that to the Contour video and the photos. I can’t wait to totally crush the competition in 2013!

See the TMS Facebook album and Kevin’s recap from last year’s Pain McShlonkey Classic for more photos and videos.

Contour ROAM Helmet Cam
Contour ROAM Helmet Cam
MSRP: $199.95
Smith Holt Helmet
Smith Holt Helmet
MSRP: $74.95

Pain McShlonkey Results and Recap 2011

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

WHO: Kevin O’Hara

WHAT: Pain McShlonkey Snowlerblade Chinese Downhill

WHERE: Squaw Valley USA

WHEN: March 27, 2011

GEAR: Smith Holt helmet, ContourGPS, K2 snowlerblades

Lately I’ve found myself yelling loudly in lift lines, jumping off of things more frequently, and generally acting like an idiot. Why? My demeanor has become more immature because I was chosen to compete in the most ridiculous race known to man: The Pain McShlonkey Classic. This event was devised as a tribute to the late Shane McConkey, and requires participants to bring their best GNAR faces. If you haven’t seen the movie or aren’t otherwise familiar with the game of GNAR, the general idea of the game is to be the most hardcore, badass skier that you can possibly be, while making fun of yourself, and poking fun at ski culture in general. Dressing up is encouraged, smack talking is expected, and having fun is the whole point.

About three weeks ago I received an email blast from event organizer Scott Gaffney (brother to the author of Squallywood), informing all pros and amateurs that we were chosen to compete. Everyone’s email address was CC’d on the email for all recipients to see. The list included names like Daron Rahlves, Jeremy Jones, Chris Benchetler, Colby West, J.T. Holmes, Cody Townsend, Elyse Saugstad, Kent Kreitler, Aaron McGovern, the Gaffney brothers. Immediately, the smack-talking began, with comments about crushed egos, other competitors moms, how poorly women ski, how poorly men ski, body part references, and a plethora of other obscenities. And it did not stop until after the competition went off! I can count 172 emails. All smack talk. All of them.

The competition itself was nothing less than a freak show, and I loved every minute of it. We began with a costume contest of hysterical proportions. This was followed by a little briefing by Scott, and then it was all hands to the KT lift! Imagine 30 pro skiers and big names, along with 30 amateurs all dressed in their most outrageous, and all waddling on snowlerblades through the KT22 line. Pushing, shoving, arguing, falling all over the place, accumulating GNAR points. After we barely made it onto the lift, the scene at the top was no less humorous. It resembled a medieval battle zone, just before the war began. Except there was less discipline and more liquor. We stood around awhile in the 60 mph winds, sipping our obligatory Red Bull, making obscene comments about each other, and touting our own masterful snowlerblading abilities. Then came the start, and well, you can watch the video for yourself. I biffed about 6 times, and put my knee into my mouth when I landed in a giant hole at the bottom of the Women’s Downhill run. Either way, I came in about 20th out of 60, I beat Daron Rahlves (check out his video of the downhill) to the bottom, and had an amazing weekend altogether. I would not have missed being a part of this!

Pain McShlonkey Chinese Downhill Results

MEN – 1) Cody Townsend 2) Aaron McGovern 3) Robb Gaffney

WOMEN – 1) Suz Graham 2) Stacia Federowski 3) Wendy Fisher

Pain McShlonkey Small Mountain Invitational Results

MEN – 1) Jesse Hall 2) Cody Townsend 3) Chris Benchetler

WOMEN – 1) Wendy Fisher 2) Michelle Parker 3) Suz Graham

Most importantly, this event brought together a group of Shane’s friends and fans, who connect through their love of skiing. Being that all of us are quick to make fun of ourselves was also an important factor. The whole point was to remember the amazing attitude and lust for life that Shane McConkey embraced. His spirit and influence live on in all of us. The event was organized by Scott Gaffney, and Shane’s widow, Sherry, all for the purpose of spreading the word about the Shane McConkey Foundation. I feel all was accomplished in a way I never could have imagined.

I leave you with a quote that continues to inspire me, and so many others:

“Now ski down there and jump off of something for crying out loud” -Shane McConkey


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Tahoe Mountain Sports Adventure of the Week blog series takes a walk (or hike, ski, surf, climb, bike or snowlerblade, Pain Mcshlonkey style) in someone else’s shoes, from pro athletes to local Tahoe adventurers. Let us know if you’ve got an adventure to share.

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